This week I am mostly preparing for Gower Riding Clubs annual one day event.  I hope to improve on last years effort which began with Frank pulling off a shoe as soon as I got on him to warm-up. I sort of knew it was serious as he stopped dead from a canter and almost dropped to the ground. I jumped off and Frank limped and winced all the way back to the lorry.  A farrier came out to put the shoe back on but unbeknownst to us he had punctured his sole as he had trodden on the shoe he had cast off . So, £75 down and game over as soon as we got there (£25 entry fee and £50 farrier) . He took six weeks to recover. So, this year we have entered the intermediate  which comprises a Novice 30 dressage test and 90cm jumps.  The showjumping will be OK but the XC jumps at GRC are not the most inviting and the course swings by a pig farm which makes the horse do a bit of a double take.  I’ve left my entry a bit late as the British Riding Clubs showjumping finals are in Lincoln the following weekend and I have been in two minds given Franks ‘glass legs’ status.  We had a lesson with Jonathan Pett yesterday and Frank wasn’t his usual oingy boingy self…. he didn’t buck  or squeal during the lesson and I take that as a sign that he’s either become so indifferent to jumping he finds it all a bit boring or he’s possibly a bit stiff and bit uncomfortable somewhere… more oats in the bucket I think.  JP thought he might be a bit stiff in his back and this did seem to be the case when I massaged his back after the lesson – he’s actually a bit tender on his right ass  – the one that was ‘kicked’ last week which made him go lame behind for a couple of days

Magic

Frank’s feet were hibi-scrubbed clean on being brought in from the muddy field and dried.  Anti-bac applied to nail holes and flaky bits. tea tree oil to frog and bulbs of heel. nettex hoof gloss to stop school  sand sticking. Cornucrescine to the coronet before being turned out again.  The wall of left foot looks awful and is bending around the nails as it weight bears. I look at it in dismay as I wonder how long the Nettex Hoof Builder supplement will take to work its way through – or even if it will work at all…. its been four months now.   I don’t expect to see any effect until after 8-9 months but it can’t come soon enough.  May be next event season he will have tougher trotters. Hmmmm? I wonder. None of these supplements are supported with any research – no randomised placebo-controlled clinical trials so it feels like expecting magic to work… and I don’t believe in magic anymore

Unicorns

I had a flash of inspiration a few months ago – I can’t recall where from – but I didn’t have time to follow it up – due to pressure of work and endless shit shovelling. I think I read an article or someone told me something about unicorns and weddings.  I must have filed this idea away because having bought a unicorn birthday card for  my unicorn obsessed friend recently I had unicorns on my mind.  Then, whilst washing the white boys filthy tail the other evening BLING! I suddenly thought about unicorns again. Yes!  That’s it!  Why didn’t I make this connection before?  Here we have a unicorn – the white boy is made for the job – he has everything a unicorn needs except the corn or is it horn? He’s a very pretty anglo arab and he’s grey – white even when he’s had a bath. He’s never ever liked jumping.  When the white boy went round a course of jumps he didn’t just knock down poles, he’d put feet through fillers and take out wings. It would look like a tornado had been round. He’s a smooth operator on the flat but will canter round an entire dressage test and  immobility isn’t part of the repertoire. Halt at X? more like inability to stand still for a moment a X.  The judge once in a veterans class muttered ‘well he’s very nice but he should really learn to act his age’.

 

 

He’s only on minimum wage I know but it’s about time he started to earn his keep.  He’s 23 and has calmed down somewhat.  He’s good with children, doesn’t bite or kick and likes to party.  I have this saying which applies to both my horses… ‘good on the ground, won’t go round’.  Frank is not good on the ground he stands on me and bites me – he would be no good as a unicorn as he frightens small children  –  so just as well he jumps like a gazelle!

So, the horn/corn has been ordered, along with pink and purple mane extensions, hoof glitter, white bridle.  I have booked a photographer, a venue with a castle backdrop and have a bride and some maids.  Insurance and licence are sorted. Once the publicity shots have been taken we can start to pimp out the white boy as a Unicorn – for weddings, birthday parties and events.  I was wondering what I was going to do with myself  now that I have left work but it won’t be long before we are ready to rock – no point hanging around –  sometimes you just gotta grab the unicorn by the horn.

 

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